Zechs Wars: May I have pants?!
by Akira Majere
Summary: Zechs is forced to wear an outfit that only has 2 brass rings and 6 leather straps... Not to mention several pyschos are after him, what's the poor boy gonna do?
1. May I have Pants?!

**Zechs Wars: May I have pants?!  
**__by Akira and Jessie

Jessie sighed, drumming her fingers on the table in front of her. How boring! No one around. Not one single person. Well, other than herself, that is. No one to rant at or annoy. When had her life become so unfulfilling?  
"Pare le passion," Jessie sighed, not even her tried and true joke cheered her up. "WHERE IS EVERYBODY??" she yelled, slamming her fist onto the table. All the returned her were echoes of her own voice.  
"Well bloody hell. Looks like I'll have to find something to entertain me."  
**  
She paced around the ML, looking for something that could hold her attention for more than two seconds. **POOF** "Huh?" She coughed and squinted at the engulfing fog. "Who's there?"  
"You're conscience." She slapped her forehead.  
"If you come out of there wearing a halo or horns and a tail, I'm going to kill you." Lame lame lame, she thought. Her conscience chuckled back at her and stepped through the fog. Jessie's stopped mid cough and started drooling. What ever she did in her life to get Zechs, hottie bishounen who was actually taller than her, to be her conscience, she'd have to keep doing. "so, are you like that cricket from Pinocho that keeps me from doing bad things and lead a life to become a real boy or what?"  
"Actually, I came to help you become unbored." Unbored? Was that even a word?  
"I can think of about thirty things to do with you that would make me 'unbored' but all involve whips and bondage in one form or another." Jessie looked hopeful.  
"Uh, no. What are you? Like two?" Her face fell and she whimpered pathetically.   
"No, I'm like fifteen," she sniffled. Zechs coughed something into his hand sounding an awful lot like jailbait. "Oh well, it would be sort of gross to sleep with my conscience, not matter how good looking he may be!" Jessie stalked off to find something more entertaining then a goody two shoes conscience.  
**  
"Yo! Conscience Zechs! I need to ask you something!" Zechs got up from where he was sitting rather awkwardly on a bean bag chair and walked over to wear Jessie was standing, holding a pair of leather pants.  
"What is it?"  
"Well, I was wondering. Should I soak Squall's leather pants in water or not?"  
"How'd you get his pants? He only has one pair, doesn't he?"  
"Uh. . . that's not important!! Anyway, should I?" CZ shrugged.  
"Do what you want."  
"What kind of conscience are you?? You're suppose to at least tell me something!" **POOF** The air filled with bright pink hearts that blinded both CZ and Jessie. "Nani o-"  
"HI!" squealed the pink hair child from the spawn of evil.  
"Nononono! You can't be the other half of my conscience! NO!!! Evil! Stay away!!" Jessie screamed. ChibiUsa smiled cutely and sniggered.  
"Mommy says she can't come today so I'm filling in!" she declared proudly and overly sweet, rotting one of CZ's teeth.   
"no, don't say that! No, Usagi is NOT my conscience!!!!"  
"I'm here to tell you what's wrong to do!" She smiled sugary. "But, mommy hasn't told me what right and wrong are yet so. . ." she trailed off hopelessly, looking as though she were about to cry. CZ mumbled something under his breath while dialing up his dentist.  
"She's not here. She's not here. She's not here." Jessie repeated like a mantra, rocking back and forth with a glazed look in her eyes. Zechs clicked off his cell phone and tapped Jessie on the shoulder.  
"Maybe you should ask her," he started, wincing a little from the pain of his rotted tooth.  
"Ask who? I don't see anyone here," she responded with a blissful, vacant look on her face.  
"Denial is very unbecoming."  
"YOU THINK I'M BECOMING??" she shrieked happily. In a flash, Jessie grabbed little ChibiUsa by the collar and pulled her up to eye level. "Okay, listen, pinked hair rat, and listen good. You're job  
is to stay the hell out of my way. When I ask a question, I'll tell you what to answer and then you say it, got it? Otherwise, you'll never see mommy again." ChibiUsa whimpered and CZ sighed, covering his face with his hands.  
"Now, do you think I should soak Squall's one and only pair of leather pants in water? Say-"  
"That sounds fun!!" Jessie dropped her from surprise.  
"What did you say?" she asked, bewildered.  
"I said that sounds fun! Can we? Can we?" Jessie stared at her in disbelief until a smile crept across her face.  
"I think I like you kid. Come on!" She and ChibiUsa ran to the ML bathroom laughing wildly from excitement.  
**  
"Now, let's see, what else?" Jessie and ChibiUsa looked upon their handy work with utmost respect. Squall's pants were properly soaking in the bathroom, clogging up one of the toilets, Zell's hotdogs were hidden in the bean bag chair and the stuffing from the bean bag chair was shaped like hot dogs and cooking on the barbecue. Jessie sprayed some of her Essence of Hotdog on them to make them at least smell real not that Zell would notice either way. Rinoa's clothes had been switched with Quistis'', Cloud's was now snuggling with a Sephiroth doll instead of the Tifa one which was now hanging up in the bathroom with the message "aren't you glad you didn't flush the toilet?" scribbled on it in red lipstick. They made a few things in the kitchen which resulted in a toxic gas floating around and a charred ceiling. Other than that, everything was pretty much the same except Yapi's whip was replaced by links of sausages, SK's Squall she was sleeping next to was a blow up sex toy of Seifer (thanks to the idea that was given to Jessie) and the spork and llamas had all mysteriously disappeared.  
"I don't think there's anything," ChibiUsa said. "Zechs is all tied up, right?" Jessie nodded, wiping the sweat from her brow.  
"Next time he won't try to stop us, will he? mYAHAHAHA! Just wait until I get enough time to go visit him. hehehe." ChibiUsa missed all indication of what Jessie was talking about, still being around six.  
"Yep, will, mommy's calling! Bye!" **POOF** The room erupted into a swirl of pink hearts.  
"I'm going to talk to her about that stupid exit and entrance thing." Jessie muttered. "Oh Zechs!" she called, skipping off to  
where he was tied up.  


Akira's bloodshot eyes from too much writing and webpage worked shot open as the gentle thudding of her godly llamas stopped from her backyard. Leaping to her feet, Akira ran outside and...  
GASP! Her llamas were gone! Shrieking, Akira was transformed into her 5-year-old SD form of AoD- chin length silver hair, electric blue eyes, 6 crystal shard wings, and toooooo overly cute self. Whistling, a 10 foot ebony scythe flew over to the kawaii girl, who hopped on it and rode on it like a broom.  
"I will find my llamas and sporks!"  
  
  
"Come on CZ, you look good in tight leather!" Jessie was holding a black leather leash in her hands and was pulling on it with all her might.  
"I don't know how you got me into this but you aren't getting me out there. Not with all those - those -" Zechs shuddered on the other end of the leash where he was well concealed by the hallway.   
"If they close their eyes, will you come out?" Now everyone present was looking towards Jessie and the leash and watching her tug on it to no avail.  
"NO!" he growled menacingly. Jessie stopped pulling on the leash and let tears well up in her eyes.  
"But CZ, I dressed you up all pretty and now you won't come out." A lone tear slid down her cheek. Zechs sighed and relented.  
"If they close their eyes. . ." he grumbled. Jessie grinned and whirled around to the group.  
"Close your eyes!" she yelled, winking.  
"I saw that! No way!" he screamed, pulling backwards and towards the back room. Jessie growled and yanked on the leash suddenly. She smiled when a loud crash was heard and pulled on the leash, dragging out a confused and angry Zechs.  
"Doesn't he look pretty??" Jessie beamed, pulling CZ to his feet. He glared viscously at anyone willing to look him in the eye. She had some how managed to get him in an outfit consisting of three strips of leather and four brass rings holding those three pieces together. The girls in the room were in between laughing hysterically and drooling while Macro couldn't bare to look at him. "Doesn't he????"she demanded.  
Squally barely managed to nod before having to excuse herself to the bathroom for puking privileges.  
"And I shaved his legs and everything!" Anna gawked at her.  
"You shaved his legs?"  
"You shaved my legs??!"  
"Well, gees, you're like a chia pet or something! The back hair was disgusting." Yapi groaned from somewhere in the room.  
"I'll never be able to look at him the same," she mumbled under her breath, getting up and going to throw up in the bathroom with Squally.  
"I do not have back hair!!" Zechs roared at Jessie.  
"Well not anymore." she replied nonchalantly. "We're going out!! Bye guys!" Jessie waved and tugged on the leash.  
"What? No way! I'm not going outside wearing this!" Jessie smiled secretly and pulled him out the door.  
**  
  
A wolf howled in the distance as Jessie and CZ wandered down a dark street. Zechs was relieved because they had only happened upon a mother and baby since this outing started and all that happened was the mother tried to jump into his arms. Jessie had knocked the woman on the head with her own baby and pulled him quickly down the street. He was thankful to her for that but he was still mad at that crack about him having back hair.  
"I do not have back hair," he grumbled again. Jessie sighed.  
"That's the for tenth time you've said that since we left the Mailing List. Could you just relax and have fun? yeesh! You'd  
think I dressed you up in leather and made you go for a walk!"  
Zechs stopped long enough to ram his head into the nearest tree. Jessie glared at him and pulled him along after her.  
"Stop! In the name of the moon, I will punish you!!" Sailormoon aka Usagi aka Jessie's good side of her conscience jumped down from the trees, tripping on a branch and falling face first into the pavement.  
"Oh goody, sailor moron's here," Jessie sighed. "Where's your daughter?"  
"That's why I'm here!" Sailormoon picked herself up from the ground and narrowed her eyes, hands on her hips. "You've corrupted her!" Without missing a beat, Jessie rounded on CZ.  
"And you were complaining about me being fifteen!! She's only six!!"  
"Wha??" Zechs gaped at her. "But I didn't!"  
"Uh huh, that's what they all say!" Jessie fell to the pavement, crying.  
"Actually, I was talking to you," Sailormoon announced. Jessie looked up.  
"But I didn't!"  
"I wasn't talking about that kind of corrupting!" CZ and Jessie sighed with relief then glared at the other for suspecting  
themselves. "You made her a bad child! All she does all day is play pranks on all the senshi and my poor Mamoru!"  
Jessie beamed with pride. "I taught her the difference between   
boring and fun!" Sailormoon growled. "Hey, CS (conscience Sailormoon), meet CZ (conscience Zechs)! You both own part of my mind. . . him more than you though." CS looked CZ up and down then wrinkled her nose in disgust. Zechs noticed.  
"Listen, Sailor Trash-"  
"That's MISS Sailor Trash- I mean Moon, to you!" she corrected.  
"Whatever. At least I didn't dress like this by choose. What's your excuse?" CS looked highly affronted but ignored him.  
"We need to lay down some ground rules, Nekio (that's what my mind calls me, don't ask). First off-"  
"Hey, what's that??" Jessie was staring up into the moonlight sky. CS started to talk again but stopped when she realized no one was listening to her. Grudgingly, she looked up into the sky.  
"What's that little girl doing?" It was true. A little girl of maybe six was riding around on a ten foot, black scythe.  
"She's flying. Duh." As if she was signaled by something, the little girl spotted the three onlookers and flew down to greet  
them. Or, at least they thought it was a greeting.  
"Where are my llamas and sporks?!?" she demanded. Jessie jumped. Sporks? Llamas. . .? Uh oh, she was in trouble.  
"Uh uh uh."  
"nice cover," Zechs muttered sarcastically.  
"I'm trying okay??" The little girl, that Jessie now figured to be the SD form of Akira, glared coldly at her, waiting for an answer. "Uuh . . . take her! I can live without a good conscience!" She threw CS at SD Akira and ran down the street, Zechs leash grasped tightly in her hand.  
"Remind me never to ask you to come up with a valid excuse for me!"  
"Shut up and run!!"  
Grabbing CS by the hair, she took off after the two running figures on her Scythe at full speed- only to have to dodge several old ladies, a dog, a car, a tree, and many other things... Including Cloud's hair and Riona's annoying wings.  
"That's it! I'm cheating!" Akira yelled, pulling Anna from spandex space and threw her into CZ. "Go Annamon! Use Bishonen-lover hug!"  
Nekio, aka Jessies, was perplexed. She happened to like her evil side... but with insane Pretty Sailor Soldier, she did not know if she should chance it. So, like Akira, she played dirty...  
"Look! POCKY!" Jessie bellowed and pointed in some random direction.  
"OH!? WHERE?" The two bishoujo-lovin-fangirls inquired, while looking like complete idiots for something that wasn't there.  
Jessie made her move. She took CZ and ran.  
"Where the hell are we going?" CZ demanded after running fifty miles through trees, backyards, police stations (which did not bod well, they tried to arrest him for public nudity. Jessie talked them out of it saying that he wasn't entirely naked.) and a few old folks homes.  
"To where the llamas and sporks live. I can either release them into the wild or hid in-between all the llamas! She'll never find them! Never, I say!!" Jessie pulled out her cassette player and pushed play, listening to a long winded, evil, recorded laugh.  
"What is that?" CZ asked, try desperately to hook two of the cut straps back together. The police, in an attempt to bring him in, cut two of the leather pieces. It took a mad dash to the bathroom and a lot of coaxing from Jessie to get him out of the station and back on the street. She promised they would go shopping.  
"I have to keep my laughing on tape since it's such a bother to do every time I plan something evil. Otherwise, I'd just be laughing all the time and that never helps when you're trying to be inconspicuous." Jessie hit the stop button and then rewind, slowing herself to a walk. Zechs, grateful, slowed next to her and continued to try and hold the "evil conscience" outfit together. Stupid excuses.  
"I want pants."  
"We can shave a few llamas and make you pants." Jessie grunted, sticking the player back into her pocket.  
"Why did I have to wear this again?" CZ just liked annoying her with the question. He had asked it about fifty times before. Like always, she turned angry eyes on his and frowned.  
"I've already told you."  
"Tell me again. I like hearing about how stupid you are." Jessie smacked him on the back of his head.  
"Shut up. It's a cute outfit."  
"If by cute, you mean utterly embarrassing and horrible uncomfortable, then yes, it's cute. Now tell me."  
"No. You already know. The next time you ask, it's going to cost you a leather strap." She looked at him sideways. "Ask again."  
"that's okay. I think I get the point." He clung protectively to his three straps and four brass rings. "I want pants."  
"I told you, we'll shave some lla-" Jessie stopped.  
"Wha-"  
"SHH!" She hissed, putting her finger to her lips. Then she stood up on her tip toes and looked around behind them. Not only was it now the middle of the night and a full moon (when all the crazies came out), she was sure she kept hearing someone or thing behind her. First a whoosh of air. Then a snapped twig. Something was following them. Jessie prayed it wasn't Akira and Sailor Insanity. She almost lost her CZ last time they saw each other.  
As if the thought horrified her, Jessie threw her arms around Zechs protectively and started walking faster, changing direction from the llama and spork hiding place.  
"Uh, you're not helping here," Zechs commented, juggling the straps between his fingers.  
"Do you want pants or not?" His eyebrow rose.  
"We're not going to shave llamas?"  
"No, we will but llama hair might give you a rash or something and pants really aren't the best thing to make with llama fur." CZ sighed happily.  
"Pants. Wow. My own pair of pants!" he wondered dreamily. "I wonder what I should get. Cargo? Maybe a pair of Khakis. Oh, I know! I've always envied those people with Wranglers." Jessie looked at him sideways.  
"You've been without pants for maybe a day. What IS your problem?? It couldn't have been that bad!" Zechs jerked the two short straps closer to her face. "Okay okay! Point taken!" she screamed, waving her hands in front of her.  
"I've found you!!" Jessie and CZ whirled around. Akira grinned down at them from her ebony scythe. Sailor Insanity can running up after them, panting and clutching her side.  
"Just got- a little- lil- stitch," she gasped, falling against a tree closest to her.  
"And the two of you couldn't rid on that thing why?" Jessie asked in disbelief.  
"Nevermind that! You lied! Pokey wasn't there!!" SD Akira pouted momentarily. "Anyway! I want my llamas!! And my sporks!"  
"Y-y-ya-h," Insanity managed to chorus. "Give- em-" she fell over out the ground. "Just- give- me- a- a- min-ute." Zechs rolled his eyes.  
"Doesn't look like she'll be trying to attack me/love me anytime soon." Jessie elbowed him in the ribs.  
"Don't provoke," she whispered harshly from the corner of her mouth.  
"WHERE ARE MY LLAMAS???" SD Akira demanded loudly.  
"Uh uh uh-"  
"Don't you dare start that again," Zechs criticized harshly.  
"You're just mad because you aren't wearing any pants!" Jessie screamed back, pulling a leather strap from his outfit. Zechs scrambled to keep himself covered.  
"Hey! I don't have time for this! My llamas! I miss them so," Akira wore a look of forlonging.  
"Don't bitch to me about it," Jessie muttered sulkily, glaring evilly at Zechs who was returning her look with just as much loathing.  
"Okay, that's it! If you aren't going to cooperate, I'm taking your evil conscience." Akira grabbed Zechs in one swoop and speed off towards the sky with him.  
"No wait!" Jessie screamed, reaching out to stop her with the leather strap still in hand. Sailor Insanity got up, swaying a little, and started back the way she came slowly jogging. "Okay that's it! no more Ms. Nice Girl!" Jessie reached into her pocket and pulled out an old watch she kept after her and her friend went their separate ways. "DARK SKY TRANSFORM!" she screamed, slipping the watch on to her wrist. In a flash of black light (yep, it's possible and it's really coolies too! ^^), Jessie was transformed into Dark Sky, DS for short, and all her glory. DS adjusted her short black leather skirt, zipped up the sides of her knee high, black leather, high hell boots and swished back her trademark trenchcoat. "It's certainly been awhile," she muttered. She checked to make sure the plain old looking watch had changed into a butterfly bracelet, like she had programmed it to do.  
"I'll get you back CZ," she promised, charging a whip into her hands. "Right after I get some info." Uncoiling the whip, DS looked over to where Insanity had fallen over breathless. "Insanity! Doll! I need some information!!" DS waved and ran over in her direction.  
  
  
CZ clung to Akira desperately as they speed down the highway at high and dangerous speeds. But Akira was oblivious to that for the simple fact she was singing a song about trains.  
"Um, excuse me, Miss Akira, but... ah, where are we going?" CZ whined for the 7 time in the last 5 mins.  
"To get you some pants! I'm loyal to my Vincent!" Akira giggled and added softly, "and Sephiroth and Quistis..."  
"REALLY? You're giving me PANTS!?" CZ asked excitedly as he thought of finally wearing real clothes.  
Akira nodded, landing her Scythe in front of the mall and hopped off. Walking into the mall, she saw the weird looks as they saw a SD girl with 6 wings, a 10 foot scythe, and an almost naked Bishonen. The last one, the half naked Bishonen, got a lot of whistles from the ladies, though.  
"Where are going to get my pants?" CZ sang.  
Thinking for a moment, she replied, "Hot Topic. They got the niftiest pants there! Leather, vinyl, over-sized skater pants... You name it!"  
Uncharacteristically, CZ almost facefaulted. Though remaining silent, he followed the 5 year old into the store and went through the rescue- in a twisted way- of being fitted into vinyl pants.  
  
  
Anna stared numbly up at the sky. She was tired, but the Insane Pretty Sailor Soldier refused to ride on that Scythe. That just wasn't right... So she had to run; run because the Moo Mecha was in the shop.  
"This sucks," Anna wailed as DS came over to her. Meeting the evil version of Jessie, Anna gave her finger, pulled out a pair of Matt's lacy underwear and took a deep breath of them.  
"MmmmmMmmm! Heavenly!" The insane Selphie clone purred.   
DS stopped mid step. "Please tell me you did not just smell those panties." Insanity nodded vigorously and inhaled their smell again. DS gagged then snapped her whip, catching the underwear with the end of it and ripping them out of  
Anna's reach.   
"Hey!" she yelled, scrambling up to retrieve the lost undergarment. DS yawned, stretched and with one flick of her wrist, sent the whip whirling towards Insanity, wrapping itself around her ankles and causing her to trip. It didn't help matters when DS yanked hard on her end and drug Insanity farther and farther away from her beloved's underwear. "No! NO!!"  
"I'll let you have your precious, lacy treasure back if you tell me where Akira is going," DS informed her sweetly. "If not, I can destroy them in the blink of an eye." Anna glared at her, debating weather she should betray Akira for a  
pair of underwear. But then again, they WERE very special underwear. . . Thankfully, she didn't have to decide right away. DS was watching her coldly when her stomach began to growl. "Oh damn, I haven't eaten all day. " she grumbled, "what a  
bloody nescience." Complaining to herself, DS walked over to a nearby tree and knocked two times, paused, then knocked four more times. Out of the trees ran a little squirrel holding up, amazingly, a bag of Cooler Rancher chips and 16 oz. water bottle.  
"here Ms. Sky, Dark ma'am." DS smiled approvingly and took the snacks from the furry woodland creature.  
"Very good Skip. Back into the tree now." Skip run back up the tree and disappeared into the leaves. DS sat resentfully at the trees base and started eating, glaring evilly at nothing in particular.  
Anna realized this was her chance to get away. Or at least get the panties back. With the wisdom of a three year old, Anna climbed to her feet and started hopping over to wear the underwear flew. Had she untied her feet, maybe DS  
wouldn't have noticed her. "Ah, don't do that! I don't wanna have to hurt you or anything. I just want my Zechs back. Much like you want those panties." Insanity ignored her, sure that she had succeeded and grabbed the underwear off the ground.  
"Well, I did warn you, I suppose." Anna whirled around just as DS screamed out, "Lightening Bolt". The air charged with electricity and suddenly, a crash of lightening rippled through the air, directly at Anna. She screamed but stopped when she realized she wasn't dead . . . but the panties were. A small pile of ashes lay at her feet and, as she checked, her eyebrows were gone.  
"AKIRA'S AT THE MALL BUYING ZECHS PANTS! CHECK HOT TOPIC!" she screamed just before passing out next to the pile. DS nodded grimily.  
"Good thing I didn't tell her my aim was off. I was trying for the tree a few meters behind her." DS got up and knocked on the tree once, paused then once more. Skip scudded back down and sat, waiting for her orders. "Skip, I need you  
to watch out for Insanity here. When she wakes up, call Squally or SK and they'll come and pick her up. At   
least, I think they will." DS handed Skip the number to the ML phone and pulled out a lone pokéball from under her trenchcoat. "GO!" she screamed, throwing the pokéball onto the ground. Out popped a five ton, sunset orange lizard with wings and a fire on it's tail. "Flashlight!" Flashlight cooed happily. "Come on, we have to go to the mall!"  
"char char char zar?"  
"Okay, we'll pick you up some red pumps while we're there," DS sighed, clamoring on to her pet's back. Flashlight gave one last roar and leaped into the air, headed straight for the mall.  
**  
Zechs pulled on his new pants, trying to get them sit right. "This isn't working." Akira threw a dangerous look over her shoulder.   
"Stop complaining. It's better than what you had." CZ nodded in agreement but continued to pull them down then up then adjusting the crotch.  
"It's still not working. Are they suppose to be - you know- so- so-"  
"YES!" she yelled, handing the money over to the cashier. "Now knock it off!" The buffy blond man behind the counter handed her the receipt and winked at her. Akira was appalled that he would hit on her when she looked like she was  
five. That and he wasn't at all a bishounen. "Bite me," she growled back at the cashier, sticking the receipt   
in her pocket and pulling Zechs out of the store.  
"Where now? Can I have more pants?? Oh oh! How about-"  
"QUIET!! How does she put up with you?" Akira wondered aloud, walking ahead of Zechs.  
After a long, ackward silence, Zechs started talking again. "Well, where are we going?"  
"To find my llamas and sporks!" she growled, unwittingly.  
"What is so damned special about llamas and sporks??" Zechs asked impatiently, having heard quiet enough of the Godly llamas and Holy Sporks. If she started crying again, he was going to strangle her with his old outfit.  
"How dare you say 'damned' when referring to my llamas!!" she screamed, spinning to face him. "Why I ought-"   
"What's going on over there?" CZ started walking towards where a big crowd was gathering.  
"No! Flashlight! Let go of the shoe! Let go! It's not yours!! Ugh-" a blue high heel flew out from the center of the crowd and something hit the floor inside. "I'm really sorry about that ma'am. Sometimes he just can't help himself. Ow! Hey! There's no need for violence! No, Flashlight! Don't bite her!!" The crowd reared back in horror and the girl in the middle of the fray was apologizing profusely, trying to pull something away from the woman she was apologizing to. Zechs started fighting his way up to the front of the crowed, Akira following closely.  
DS was tugging on Flashlight's tail with all her might, yelling at him to stop scaring the nice lady. The Nice Lady was shrieking and crying while Flashlight sniffed her shoe then tried to pull it off. "No, really! He just likes your shoes! He  
won't eat you! He's a vegan!" DS protested, now in front of Flashlight, trying to push him away. CZ realized who   
it was in an instant and tried to back pedal, running into Akira.  
"Hey! Watch it" Akira yelled, pushing herself forward. DS stopped trying to hold Flashlight back.  
"That voice could only belong to. . ." DS looked up and over. "AKIRA!! And with Akira is . . ." DS looked around at the faces in the crowd, not finding the one she so desperately wanted to see. "Zechs?" she asked the six year old  
depressedly.  
"Yes! Take him away! He's such a WHINER!" DS glared at her.  
"He's not a whiner. He just likes to whine, that's all." She started through the crowd of people, looking at everyone, trying to find his. "Where is he?"  
"he was right in front of me," Akira mumbled as she crawled between  
a pair of legs.  
"How can you loss someone right in front of you!!" DS demanded, pulling herself out the back of the crowd. The people were still watching Flashlight harass the poor woman who dared to wear high heeled shoes. "OH! ZECHS!!" DS caught  
sight of him running for the exit. Within seconds, DS had somehow managed to catch up with him and attach herself to his back, making it impossible for him to run without tripping over her dangling feet.  
"No! I'm not going back!! I love Akira! AKIRA! LET GO!!!!" Tears welled up in DS's eyes as she whimpered piteously. "That's not going to work this time," he warned. DS ignored him and nuzzled the small of the back with her nose.  
"Please?" she asked quietly.   
"No means no Nekio!" he declared, trying to shed her like a snake sheds it's dead skin. "Now let go!!!" DS dropped to the floor and stared quietly at the ground.  
"It couldn't have been that bad."  
"How about I dress you up like that sometime and make you walk down the street!" he yelled, distancing himself from her quickly.  
She brightened. "YOU'LL COME BACK WITH ME THEN??"  
"NO!! Leave me alone!!" Zechs stalked off towards the door.  
"Okay. That was harsh." DS said to no one. Finally, she got up and turned around, seeing Akira trying to look inconspicuous by looking at the mall directory. As DS got closer, Akira mumbled "hmm, food court, maybe I should go visit. D-6."  
"That says F-12." Akira laughed nervously.  
"Oh yah, huh. Okay! Where are my llamas!??" DS rolled her eyes and handed her a piece of paper.  
"That tells you how to find them. Just make sure Flashlight gets to the ML okay. I want to get him back in his pokéball but I think he should be out a little longer."   
Akira took the piece of paper, eyes glistening with unshed tears, "My llamas."  
"See ya back at ML!" DS called, powering down into Jessie as she ran off.  
**  
Back at the mailing list, Jessie lounged in the main room, reading her latest issue of Newsweek, grinning happily to herself. A giggle escaped her. Squally looked up from her chair, staring at Jessie. "What's so funny?"  
Jessie shook her head. "Nothing. No one thing." Squally looked back down at her magazine until Jessie giggled again.  
"Okay, what is it?"  
"Okay, I'll tell you but promise to keep it a secret?" Squally rose her eyebrow but nodded. "The direction I gave Akira, they aren't real."  
"She's going to kill you."  
"Yep, I know."  
"What about Zechs?" Squally inquired, putting her magazine down on the table in front of them.   
"what about him?"  
"Has he forgiven you yet?"  
"Oh no. But he will."  
"How do you know?"  
"He's part of my mind. He can't help himself. He's just too proud to admit he misses me." Jessie looked over her shoulder, catching Zechs looking their way. He quickly busied himself. "hehehe." Squally just rolled her eyes and got up to  
go get something to eat.  
**  
Somewhere in the Middle East. . .  
"I don't see any llamas, Akira," Yapi announced. "Let me see the directions." Akira handed over the direction and continued down the dark desert cave. "Uh, did you even read these?"  
"Yes, how do you think we got here?" she answered irritably.  
"All the way through?"  
"Well, no," she admitted. Yapi shoved the paper under her nose.  
"Read the last line."  
  
_ Somewhere on Pluto . . .  
A faint scream is heard.  
_  
Akira looked up, blankly, cupped her ear, and listened. Listening for something that was not there. Scratching her head, she looked at Yapi for a moment.  
"I don't get it. I'm not hearing anything from Pluto that sounds like a faint scream!" Akira whined for the first time.  
Smacking Akira up side her little SD head, the Whip Mistress shook her head sadly. Taking the piece of paper from the poor confused natural blonde, Yapi enlightened her, "meaning, she tricked you! She set you up!"  
"Oh... Well, that sucks! Time to play dirty now!" SD girl shouted angrily. "CSe come out here!"  
A beautiful silver hair bishonen in a pink mini skirt and white baby tee ran out. His beautiful green eyes sparkled in the admist of all his Bishonen, but he looked annoyed. Glaring at Akira, he hissed, "what do you want?! Aeris and I were having such a LOVELY tea party! I mean, you should see the gorgeous baby pin-"  
His eyes fell upon Yapi, then turned bright red in embarrassment. Snapping his delicate fingers, he was in usual black SOLDIER General Uniform. Continuing, he spoke in a not-so valley girl tone, "I mean, we were discussing, um, evil stuff! So, eh, what do you want?"  
"I need to be evil Conscious Sephiroth!" Akira whined to her Conscious.  
"Well, first stop whining. Second, you need to get the black Materia and-"  
"That didn't work for you, so why would it work for me?" The SD girl announced, glaring slightly at CSe for such a stupid suggestion.  
"Well, ah, get CZ to join you and show you where the llamas are or whatever. Or make Jessie do it, I don't know!" CSe retorted and he started working on his nails.  
"HmmMmm, now that could work!" Yapi added encouragingly.  
Thinking of what she could do, she called for her Good Conscious.... "HEY CN!"  
Conscious Noin appeared in nothing more then a tight White Toga and looking rather pleased for once. "Yes?"  
"I need your help..."


	2. Noin Strikes Back

**Zechs Wars: Noin Strikes back**

Jessie walked into the ML and dropped a bag of mini bite candy bars on the table, falling into the chair behind her. Squally walked out of the back room and over to wear Jessie was, already shoving candy down her throat. "What's with all the candy?" she asked, keeping her limbs close to her body. The way Jessie was eating, it was just to be safe.  
"Bad day," she mumbled into between fistfuls.  
"Uh, like your candy then?"  
"No," she said shortly. "I hate candy. It's disgusting."  
"Then why are you eating it?" Squally grabbed a Three Musketeers and went to sit in a chair across the table. Jessie stopped eating.  
"I have no idea. But throwing up chocolate seems like it would make the day better." Jessie dropped the candy and pushed the bag away from her. "Where's CZ?"  
"Oh, he went out awhile ago. He wanted to buy more pants." Jessie slapped her forehead and suddenly got an idea.  
"Hey, he's been sleeping in the room at the end of the hall, right?" she asked, grabbing three Snickers and a few Milky Ways.  
"yeah, I just finished cleaning it for him," Squally said absently, looking around the room for her favorite bishie.  
"great!" Jessie trotted down the hall and was gone for several minutes. When she finally came back, her hands were full of the candy wrappers. Now Squally noticed.  
"What did you just do?"  
"Nothing," Jessie replied innocently.  
"Just how is he suppose to forgive you if you keep playing tricks on him? I think your evil enough without him around!"  
"Nah! It's just harmless fun! He doesn't mind - much - okay, maybe a little. Okay okay, he'll probably try to kill me after he realizes it's just chocolate but hey, it's made my day perk up!!" Squally rolled her eyes. A bunch of crazy weird people at this ML.  
"You know, you can't keep treating him like crap. He's going to find someone else, ya know." Jessie's grinned tried grim and her eyes welled up with tears, yet again, as was her way of getting things.  
"Don't say that! No! You're wrong." she sniffled.  
"Whatever," Squally breathed. Jessie glared at her evilly then grabbed some more candy to go spread mischief to all those at the mail list. But first, she would have to get ChibiUsa back here.  
**  
Jessie wandered around outside, looking for something to do. She couldn't find ChibiUsa anywhere! "ChibiUsa!" she called, her hands around her mouth like a megaphone. "CHIBIUSA!!!! GET OVER HERE YOU PINK HAIRED RAT!" The  
familiar burst of pink and purple hearts reflected off the beaming sun, blinding Jessie like the first time the pink haired six year old appeared (yah baby! Description good for you!).  
"Are you my mother?" Jessie looked at her dubiously. "Er, I mean, have you seen my mother?" she corrected.  
"Not sense I threw her at Akira. . . why, hasn't she found her way home yet?" Jessie asked airily, trying to blink sight back into her eyes.  
"No, not yet. But she gets lost a lot so Daddy and I aren't worried yet." Jessie cleared her throat and handed ChibiUsa the candy in her arms. "For me??" she asked excitedly.  
"No, for trouble making," Jessie explained, pulling her sunglasses out of her back pocket and putting them on. Apparently, someone, most likely Chibi, thought it would be cute to deck out her mini school uniform in rhinestones. The sparkles  
seemed to go straight for Jessi's eyes. Stupid little kids, Jessie thought, glaring from behind her glasses.  
"Oh! Good!!" Chibi stuffed the chocolates into her shirt pocket so that there was one odd shaped lump just below her shoulder. Jessie took back some of the candy after much arguing. "So, what are we going to do with it?" Jessie frowned.  
"I'm not sure yet. But we can't pick on Zechs anymore today. I've already put five candy bars in his bed for good melting. If he sleeps in his pants or if he comes home drunk, he's going to be either scared shitless" Chibi frowned "or mad  
as hell" Chibi's frown deepened "or both."  
"Could you not say bad words?" Jessie started walking in the direction of the mall, sure they could at least do enough to be  
banned permentantly.  
"I could but I'm not gonna." Chibi ran after her, Jessi's stride covering more distance than her own.  
**  
"Why couldn't we drive?" Chibi asked, hanging onto Jessi's arm. They were crossing the street.  
"Cause I don't have my licensee yet." Jessie immediately pulled her arm out of Chibi's reach as soon as they touched the sidewalk. "We're here!"  
"I'm hungry!" Chibi whined.  
"Then eat a candy bar" Jessie snapped.  
"Their all mushy and gross!" she whined back  
"Augh. I hate little kids. Fine, we'll go to the food court but you only get one thing!"   
"ONE THING??" Chibi cried.  
"you heard me."  
**  
As it turned out, the rat out smarted her. Chibi's one thing happened to be the menu at Burger King.  
"It's ONE THING," Chibi declared when Jessie protested. She refused to be taken by a girl younger than her cat.  
"How much for the menu?" Jessie asked the middle wager. He started adding up all the food on the menu. "No, stop. I asked how much for the MENU. Not the food on the menu." He stared at her, not seeming to understand.  
"Uh, I think I need to get the manager," he squeaked out, wide eyed.  
"Then go." Chibi tugged on her arm.  
"NOOOOO! I don't want the menu!"  
"You just said you wanted the menu."   
"I meant the things on the menu."  
"Ah, things. You can only have ONE thing! What is it?"  
"The MENUUUUUU" she squealed, still fighting to get her way.  
"Well, okay. Once the nice boy comes back with the manager, we'll be able to buy you the menu."  
"NOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo," she whined, threatening a tantrum. Jessie didn't notice. She was staring dumbfounded at a table in the middle of the court. "Hey! Where are you going?" Chibi asked as Jessie moved away from the counter.  
"Okay! I'll get one thing! Ice cream! I'll take ice cream! Well, maybe not, I don't really like ice cream. . .," Chibi rambled on to herself while Jessie got farther and farther away from the counter.  
"What the hell. . . ?" she stopped right next to the table, staring at Zechs and Noin talking to each other.  
"How ya been Zechs?" Noin asked her normal dreamy tone when she talked to him, taking no notice of the red faced girl glaring at her. Zechs got a pained look on his face.  
"Pretty good," he said in a husky voice. "And you Noin?"  
"Ah, you're lying," she teased. "You never could keep a secret from me."  
"HEY! STOP FLIRTING WITH MY CONSCIENCE, HO!" Jessie screamed at the top of her lungs, attracting stares from everyone in the food court except the couple in front of her.  
"No Noin, really, I've been fine," he encouraged.  
"You'll tell me when you're ready," she assured him, smiling sweetly.  
"Going-to-kill-her" Jessie promised herself, her hands already moving to choke the blue haired OZ Special.  
"How about we get you some pants?" Noin asked, grabbing Zechs' hand and pulling him away from the table. Jessi's stared at the back of her head with pure rage.  
"I get pants with Zechs. Not some skanky bitch!" She followed them, jumping on their enjoined hands, trying to break them apart. "Let go! letgoletgoletgo!" They seemed in a world all their own. Jessie growled, trying to come up with ways to get Noin away from HER Zechs. Just then, someone jerked her off of their hands and away from them. Jessie spun around, ready to murder.  
Akira grinned at her. "Tell me where my llamas are and I can get rid of her," she sang.  
"Akira," Jessie growled, as if it weren't already obvious.  
"Do I need to say duh?" Jessi's face melted into a look of sadness, like someone just ripped out her heart.  
"Thanks a lot! Just cause you can't live without llamas, you've sabotaged my relationship with CZ!" she yelled, lashing out at  
anything.  
"I could get Noin to leave him alone," she declared, not happy with all the crying Jessie had been doing.  
"I'd like to see you try!" she challenged.  
"Not. A. Problem." she said confidently, strolling over to the couple. "Hey Noin. Noin. Noin? Ni-on?" she sang. "NOIN??? HEY HEY HEY!" Noin didn't hear her. "WTF??"  
"I SOOOOOOO told you!" Jessie pouted.  
Akira tapped her chin thoughtfully, her silvery eyes clouding over a moment. Pulling out her Scythe from no where, she jumped on it and whistled loudly for someone. Lucky for her, since she was floating in the air, she didn't get wet as water started to fill the restaurant.  
After an unnecessary Anti-Riona Bishoujo Sailor Senshi Power Ranger Long Unnecessary Henshin like laser light show, smoke rolled around the room, around the wet Jessie, and the light darkened to a single beam. The beam fell upon a silver hair man as he stumbled out in a tight leather dress, smiling to everyone.  
"HELLO!" He sang, then turned to hold out a hand to his friend, a strawberry blonde man dressed in tight black vinyl pants and fishnet shirt. Smirking, he bowed mockingly to Jessie and blew Raspberries at Akira, then purred, "this is Ruffie, my close and very 'special' friend."  
Rufus winked at the girl, then wiggled his tongue at the girl, exposing the barbell in it. Running a hand through his hair, he grabbed Sephiroth and pulled him into a passionate kiss, and whispered, "which one is the one your training to take over the world again?"  
Pointing at the SD version of Akira, his lover replied, "Akira. She is in her SD form, though... Throwing a fit until she gets back her llamas..."  
Rufus laughed, playfully smirking at Akira, he bit Sephiroth's ear and tugged softly. Letting go, he grinned and snarled at Sephiroth playfully, "say my name... same my real name, bitch!"  
Sephiroth turned bright red, before announcing a little loudly, "Rufus, my love..." Clearing his throat and facing a annoyed Akira, he inquired, "how may I be of service?"  
"Noin isn't listening to me... but I can't remember WHY! So, since you came up with the plan- why won't she listen to me?" Akira demanded, giggling as Rufus gave her the once over then, grinned evilly as he noticed the jealous looks Sephiroth sent his way.  
Smacking Akira upside her silver hair head, the beautiful Bishonen cross-dresser sighed. "Easily. Because the spell I casted on them can only be broken until Jessie takes you to your llamas... Or else they will stuck in their love struck world where you two can't EVER separate them!"  
Turning back to Jessie, she hissed, "Um, so that means, give me back my llamas or else you'll NEVER TALK TO ZECHS AGAIN! MAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
Stunned, Jessie broke into tears, "not my... CZ... ANYTHING but him... oh noOooOOoo!" Stopping for a moment, Jessie thought the melted Candy bars in his bed might break the spell for a moment... until she saw CZ kissing CN's cheek in thanks for picking out a great pair of Wranglers.  
Rufus laughed evilly, "most likely your pretty blonde conscious will move out to move with CN within several hours, too!"  
Sick at the thought, Jessie sat on the bench and thought. What was she to do to save her CZ for herself? Could she live without him for the rest of her life- most likely, but she still didn't want to.  
The trio leered at Jessie and Chibiusa in a VERY Hojo-like manner. Chuckling evilly, the trio smirked and grabbed the pink hair rat and they sang, "and we'll make Chibiusa your new EVIL conscious, too... Imagine- Sailormoon as your good and this pink rat as your evil one!"  
During this all, however, Sephiroth was proud his evil protege was finally starting show what an evil Diva she would become... she would succeed where he, Ultimeca, ExDeath, Kefka, Jenova, and everyone failed... yes, this was a joyful day for the bad guys.

As for Noin- she was happy. Shopping for pants with the man she loved was the most perfect thing in the world- well, besides her thoughts of licking off chocolate off him, but that was beside the point. She was with ZECHS, SHOPPING, and he KISSED her cheek! A dream come true!  
Turning to Zechs, Noin's eyes became large and starry like starring at him for a moment, before speaking, "you know, Lt. Zechs, I missed you! I miss cooking and cleaning for you... not to mention blowing up the enemy with you! How has life been treating you?"  
Zechs blushed softly, chuckling softly, he replied, "just call me CZ, everyone else does... I missed you, too, Noin... Life has been fairly... okay to me... Could get better."  
Taking his hands in hers, Noin stared even more intently at the Blonde pilot, before announcing, "CZ, will you marry me?"  
Electric blue eyes widening in shock, surprise, and pleasure, he murmured, "of course, Noin... I've always loved you..." With those words he kissed her cheek.

Jessi growled to herself, twirling a strand of her wet, soggy hair around her finger. Not only had she just been forced to come into contact with water, not only had her hair been completely screwed over in the process, not only that, oh no, she just found out that she couldn't get CZ back without telling Akira the location of the llamas. It's not that she actually like the disgusting, filthy things in the first place, it was really just the principle of the thing!   
"Okay," she yelled unnecessarily loud. "That's it! I don't care what you do! I'm going to fix this myself and if that involves maiming, killing and the all around destruction of the world, then so be it because nothing, and I mean NOTHING is making me  
give into your silly little threats! Go ahead, make ChibiUsa my evil conscience! I'd like to see that! I've already killed off my good side, why not the bad side, ne??"  
Chibi squeaked, struggling in Seph's and Akira's hold, shaking her head. "So go ahead and make my day! You   
think you can conquer a world with two half rates that were both killed?? Being bishounen doesn't automatcally mean you CAN rule the world, Sephy, dear. I think Cloud proved that when he kicked your ass around the globe a few times, eh? But  
really, I do feel sorry for you. After all, your father IS Hojo and I suppose I should pity you, trying to follow in his deranged footsteps with this spell you cast on my CZ. I should. . . but I don't, you llama raping, cow molesting, hygienically  
deficient, son of a goat! You or your extremly ugly, STD ridden, whore of a lover." Sephy and Rufus glared menacingly at her while Akira repeated the words 'llama raping.'  
Fuming, Jessi unwittingly powered up to DS, drying herself in the process. "NOW! IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME, I'VE GOT A CONSCIENCE TO SAVE! Come on Chibi," DS snapped her fingers, making the girl disappear from the trios grasped and reappear next to her. "We have to go get Washuu. Anything that  
half wit can create must be just as easy for the world's genius to decreate."  
DS stalked over to Nion and CZ staring dreamingly at each other. "Chibi, cover your ears," DS warned. Chibi did as she was told and looked around her with a newfound sense of paranoia caused from being in the trios clutches. "Nion," she said  
sweetly. "Nion dear, I think you and CZ make a beautiful couple. You can have him! You'll be perfect together!" Nion finally acknowledged her.  
"Really? You don't mind that I'm thinking about licking chocolate off his naked body as we speak?" Nion asked hopefully.  
DS's smile widened. "Why would I mind???" her voice turning viscious. "Listen, Slutbag, I really don't know what you're playing at and frankly, I could care less but if you so much as get one inch closer to my dear CZ, I will be forced to severe any  
body part touching his godly bishounenness. Do we understand each other?" Nion's face dropped then tightened in anger.  
"You think you can talk to me like that?? I am Lt. Luzercia Nion, graduated second in my school and became a leader for the OZ specials. I could kill you a hundred ways with my pinky. You're just going to have to get used to Zechs and I being  
together because we're getting married!"  
DS's face drew back, her fangs showing. "Impressive title, Slutbag. If you think titles and idle threats scary me, you've got another thing coming. You've been flirting with my conscience which is dangerous as it is. It's even worse since I DO  
care and fiercely protect them from any harm caused outside my doing. To me, you're a cancer and if I could   
get my hands on one, I would drop an atom bomb right on your head. Unfortunately, all the government offices have my picture now and they'll shoot me dead if I get close to one. I'm only warning you Lt. Stay away from CZ or suffer the  
ultimate in penalties." She laughed. "oh, and Nion dear, if you ever DO make it to the wedding day, I suggest you   
make it a joint ceremony."  
"Why?" Nion spat. "You marrying your ego?"  
"no, I was thinking more along the lines of your funeral." DS glared coldy at her then grabbed Chibi's hand and flipped backwards, disappearing into her portal.  
**  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIX IT??" Washuu cringed, a highly urregular thing when she was talking to her rival.  
"It's just that. This is so below me, I can't figure it out. The spell is so simple, it's almost like it's a cheesy love potion based  
of all those teen movies from the 80's." Washuu smiled. "This is hardly worth the time of my genuis!"  
"Don't (edit) with me today, Washuu," Jessi growled, recieving an angered look from Chibi. Jessi begrudingly called for help from her greatest scientific rival for the second time in her life, twice too many in her opinion. Washuu already had a lock on her lab's dimension from the pervious time when she accidently split Dilandui and Celena into two different people but in the opposite bodies. But the same was for her and today, they were in Washuu's lab, surrounded by glowing test tubes and bubbling mixtures. The computer beeped wildly every ten minutes and Washuu habitally went to check the data and report that it was just as stumped as they were.  
Jessi sighed and forced herself to concentrate. "So, basically, you're telling me this spell, be it taken in orally or just cast, seems to have been made from a children's My First Spell Book?"  
"That's about it." Washuu paused. "Why don't you just show her where the llamas are?" Jessi slammed her fist onto the lab table, shaking the glass tubes and wire holders. Washuu glared and quickly set about checking her experiments, making  
sure she didn't effect anything.  
"It's the principle, damnit! Besides, there's no proof that they'll give him back anyway. Akira is training to take over the world. Training, I have no idea why, with Sephiroth. She'll never do it purely because I would never let her. I'm  
contending for world domination too. And I'm a step ahead cause I don't give a merde arbré about the world and   
I've got enough crap to back me."  
"Like the greatest genius of the world!" Washuu declared.  
"And you would help me rule the world, why now?" Jessi asked, staring at her disbelievingly.  
"Because . . . you could never do it without me!" Washuu announced. "That and I want to be a trusted scientist so I can slowly overtake your throne while you're too busy fighting off attacks from this Akira girl."  
"Remind me to have you beheaded as soon as I conquer it." Jessi growled. "OKAY! Back to the problem at hand! Washuu, what's your conclusion?" Washuu looked defeated. In all their years as competitors, she had never seen the self  
proclaimed greatest genuis look like victory was out of her reach.  
"It's confused the computer, it's below me . . . hey, why don't you try to figure it out?" Jessi glared.  
"Not funny." Jessi dropped her head to the table. "I suppose I could try. But let's move to my lab. Different time vortex, it'll give us more time to think of something." Washuu nodded in agreement and did the finally readings on her tests. Jessi  
grabbed Chibi and took her to her lab universe, Washuu following closely behind.  
**  
"Okay, Washuu, I'm about to call us idiots." Three months into the project, which came to all of three minutes in earth time, Jessi, Chibi and Washuu were eating Chinese food created in Washuu's food generator. Washuu stopped eating and stared at her.  
"What did you figure out?" Jessi shook her head then indicated to Chibi sitting in front of the experiment, mixing potions and grinning. "What's so special about that? She's been doing it for hours."  
"That's the point. you did say it was below your level, both our levels. So below, we didn't even think about the girl with the airhead mom," Washuu's eyes lit up.  
"OF COURSE! ChibiUsa's been trying to solve it! It's a six year olds kind of spell!!" Chibi sniffed her blue concoction and poured it into a spray bottle of perfume. Then she followed suit with another test tube glowing bright green. "I think-"  
"-she's got it." Jessi and Washuu exchanged looks and then ran over to her, forgetting all lab saftey rules. "Chibi!" Chibi sprayed her and Washuu with the bright green liquid.   
Suddenly, Jessi got the irresistible urge to tell Washuu that she loved her hair. "Washuu, I-" she blushed. Washuu blushed too. Chibi giggled than sprayed them with the blue.  
Jessi shook her head and laughed. "THAT'S IT!"  
"It is!!" Washuu chorused.  
"Chibi's figured it out!!" They cried together, dancing around in cirlces. "This is perfect!" Jessi yelled. "I can't believe we wasted three months on this!! It was so obvious! With this stuff and CZ and CN's natural affection towards the other, of course  
their stuck in their own world!!" Jessi clapped her hands, delighted.  
"I'm out of here! Three months here may only be fifteen minutes in my lab but I've got observations to make." Washuu stretched and hopped through the mirror that connected their labs.  
"Thanks for your help! Pleasure working for you!" Jessi and Chibi called after her.  
"As it should be," her muffled, slow voice returned, the mirror loosing it's picture of Washuu's lab and returning to it's regular, black reflection of the wall less lab.  
"Okay Chibi, let's go test this on," her eyes suddenly closed to evil slits and from her mouth, a sinister, howling laugh came. "Oh THIS will be good!!" she cried with delight, pushing the green liquid into Chibi's hand and bending down to  
whisper the plan into her ear.  
  
**  
Jessi and Chibi reappeared in the mall, a mere twenty minutes seemed to have left. But to Chibi and Jessi, it was like rediscovering a world lost to them for an eternity. The trio and the couple were still where they were before DS made her angered disappearance. Now, she was a whole lot calmer and regretting a little of what she told Nion. The trio   
was caught of guard when Chibi reappeared in front of them. "This is for threatening me!" Chibi sprayed Akira and Rufus with the bright green liquid dubbed Chibi's #9 by Jessi.   
Instantly, Akira and Rufus were stuck in a passionate liplock with Sephy's eyes nearly falling out of his head. Chibi then smiled and kicked Sephy in the shin. "And that's for acting like a big poopie head!" she squealed, running out of the mall like  
she had been told to.  
Jessi was busy with her part of the plan whilst this was happening. Taking different rifts back, Chibi landed in front of Akira's group but Jessi appeared next to Nion. She sighed and touched Nion on the shoulder. Nion whirled but Jessi decked her before she could comprehend what was going on. "Sorry," Jessi said fakely, shrugging at Nion's fallen figure. Then, before CZ could protest, Jessi sprayed him with the blue stuff. CZ sneezed, blinked, then sneezed again. Then he looked at Jessi and hugged her.  
"Thank you. I didn't want to marry her!" Jessi hugged him back, happy to have him back on her side. Then, before any of the four others could figure out what was going on, Jessi bolted from the mall with her consciences intact. Chibi met  
them outside. "How'd it go?" Jessi winked at her.  
"Just as planned, Small Lady."  
As they left, Akira and Rufus broke apart and smiled at each other while Sephiroth started crying and throwing a fit like a like a small child. Finally, however, he stopped and screamed, "what the fuck is going on?! Akira, she just ruined our plans to get back your llamas and now you're making moves on my man?! You bitch!"  
Stopping the kiss, Akira looked at Sephiroth and hissed, "by Saidrick the great llama god, you're right! We have to find them... but something just came to me while I was making out with my Rufus!"  
Rufus grinned seductively, stepping closer and blocking the view of an even angrier Sephiroth. Purring he started to kiss her neck slowly.  
"No, not that!" She pushed him away, though she wanted to ravish him right there... but llamas were her life. "We haven't seen Marco Leonstrife during all this! I bet she gave my llamas to that boi!"  



End file.
